Democratic Meltdown

I've been away. Not away, away; I've still been going about my life in the usual way but I have been out of the blogosphere. The reason for this is that I was writing boring crap about how much I hate my life. My life still pretty much sucks ass but I'm not going to bore people with that so much...I have found a (kind of) purpose.

I'm a Taurean, but I'm a funny kind of Taurean. I'm the kind of Taurean who is ruled by Mars. I'm not getting into the Astrology of it all here (it would take a looooooongggggg time) but suffice it to say that I'm cross. I'm a cross, cross, cross person and I'm funny when I'm cross. I'm confused when I'm not cross soooooo I'm gonna tell you about the things that make me cross. In a funny way (she hopes.)

For the past few weeks the British media has been full of news about MPs expenses. If you are living in a foreign land (or living in a foxhole in England) the news is that (shock horror) MPs have been diddling and fiddling their expenses. Now I, for one, am completely amazed that anyone with an expense account would do this. I mean, it surely NEVER happens in real life, does it? Oh wait, yep, yes it does. It's not right but it is how it goes...Imagine...

Mr Krelbourne: "So, Dave, welcome to the company. I hope you are settling in. Just to let you know, if you have to stay overnight somewhere other than your home you will be reimbursed for any expenses you occur."

Dave: "Oh thanks Mr Krelbourne. I am settling in nicely thanks. I appreciate your generosity but I'm more than happy to pay for myself in those circumstances. I wouldn't dream of claiming for my Hobnobs and Orange Juice. I'll pay for them out of my own pocket."

It wouldn't happen. We claim what we can because we feel like we deserve it. And I don't doubt for one minute that these ministers and MPs feel like they deserve what they have claimed. Don't get me wrong; there are some of 'em that have clearly, with some malice and forethought, set out to defraud the system. Every claim for interest on a mortgage that has already been paid off and the dry rot issue, the couple who were claiming different houses as their second home, the flipping - they were wrong and possibly illegal and these people should be punished. Not voting is not the answer.

I was horrified when, on one of the awful vox pops that the news programmes insist on shoving down my throat, there was a woman who proudly declared that she had never voted and wasn't about to start now. I know voter apathy is rife. Recent revelations have only served to "prove" lazy non-voters that they are "right" not to bother. They are not right to bother. It scares me that we have become so frivolous that we would throw away the right that our ancestors have fought for time and again. Women who don't vote annoy and disgust me. Only 100 years ago we would not have been allowed near a polling station; nor would your average man, in fact. The rules were elitist and sexist. There is no barrier to us exercising our democratic right other than our own laziness. Did the Pankhurts et al. fight for us to sit at home scratching our arses and watching Corrie?

Would we have been able to vote freely had Hitler won World War II? On the weekend when we remember and celebrate the lives and sacrifices of those who died on D-Day what kind of an insult is our idle, bored lack of interest in who governs this nation?

Arguing silent protest is not going to wash either. Being able to vote is an honour. It's not an automatic right. There are vast swathes of this planet where people are afraid for their lives come polling time. Anyone who protests against the regimes and dictators of these places, simply by voting for someone else, is under threat of imprisonment or death. The thought that we would choose to protest silently rather than voting for someone else and showing our annoyance in this way is terrible. The fact that more people vote for a silly dancing, singing or "talent" show makes me ashamed to be British.

I told a woman off on Thursday who wasn't voting because she thought it would be funny if the BNP got elected. This wouldn't be funny; it would, and I mean this in its most vehement sense, be terrifying. The BNP are not only racist; they are sexist and homophobic. They associate with people who deny the holocaust and align themselves with Nazis and this is truly, truly terrifying. The thought that a few claims for moat maintenance and trouser presses could lead to these horrible monsters having any power at all is bad. If they do get in though the fault does not lie wholly and squarely with the politicians, corrupt, silly or careless. Responsibility lies with every single person in this country who could have voted, who could have ensured they remained on the fringes of society where they belong, but didn't.

I can't tell people how to vote here. I would love to ensure that parties like the BNP and the crazy christians who were bidding for a spot don't get in but I can't demand you don't vote for who you believe in. It's a little late for my message now but, next time there is an election (local, national, European, a referendum) please, please vote. Don't waste the right that a fluke of birth has bestowed upon you. Think about those who have gone before, those who right now would love to be able to put a cross next to their preferred candidate without fearing for their life. Think what it would have been like for our grandparents and great-grandparents who did not have the right to a say and, for the good of democracy, have yours!

Good news at last

Sooooooo. I haven't wanted to post anything until I was a bit more cheerful than the last time. I don't know that I'm more cheerful as such but I do have good news. I returned to work in the new year to find that I have a shiny new job. I had the interview before Christmas and whilst I felt it went well I wasn't sure I'd be successful. The job itself is very exciting. It is launching a new product which may start to make a real change to the way people study and the qualifications they get.

It's also a validation of part of me which I feel has been squashed and trampled on in my current post. It's sometimes hard labour for me to have a professional work persona as I am, by nature, dramatic and exhuberant. I feel everything a bit too much to really be professional but I do work hard to show this calm and collected individual to my colleagues. She is in there and I don't feel like I'm denying who I really am but I have felt, for years now, that there's no point as I'm under-valued and completely unappreciated. Well now, I am appreciated. I start in a few weeks (bitter arguements with the outgoing boss have ensued about my leaving date) and I'm looking forward to working with someone who may just appreciate the career girl part of me is.

I've also had a lovely afternoon with one of my oldest, closest, dearest, bestest friends. She of the lovely Christmas house fame has spent the afternoon inspiring me, empathising with me, making me laugh and generally making me feel loved and special.

Her craft projects are an inspiration to anyone who has ever picked up a needle and thread and wanted to create something beautiful and now she's going to make a business out of it. I'm proud, excited, a little jealous and most of all looking forward to what treats I can buy myself...like the brooch I bought my mum, a ball of yarn with knitting needles pushed through. It needs to be seen. I don't do it justice. By all accounts a simple idea but make no mistake it is an inspired one. They are lovely and I bought it from my friend the artist and creator not just my friend.

She almost made me cry today by quietly, in a truly understated way telling me that she is so glad I'm in her life. She wasn't drunk (a small amount of wine was drunk in celebration of our new work ventures but not a lot) and she didn't want anything in return. She just wanted to let me know. And I want to let her know. We have been friends for some 12 years in September - no mean feat for people hanging around in the world of the dramatic and creative arts, I tell ya. She has moved away and back to our adopted home, got married and had two beautiful babies. My trajectory has been less dramatic and variable and perhaps that has helped but effort has been made on both our parts. She had concerns when she first got pregnant that we would drift apart (I don't have kids, don't want kids) but I look after her little ones from time to time in order that her and her husband (it doesn't hurt that I love him to bits too) may have some semblance of a social life. I don't think she knows how content it makes me to know that I'm one of the only people she trusts those mini-Bs with (it is mad that it should be me given the fact that I'm the least maternal woman you are ever likely to meet but it works.) It works because we get one another. We aren't afraid to disagree take full advantage of the other when necessary - always safe in the knowledge that it will be reciprocated in the near future.

We have seen one another angry, happy, depressed, elated, snippy, drunk, tired, lonely, grieving and almost everywhere in between and I would like to say here and now that I love my friend and that I'm thankful for her. I'm thankful to whatever twist of fate brought us together, I'm thankful to her for putting up with my highs and lows, to her husband for loving Manchester as much as she does and making it easier to come back here and I'm thankful that we are growing together. Sisters not in the biological sense but in the way that really matters. For a long, long time to come.

Sx